Football Dispatch

Weekend Football
11 January 2008
by Jerrad Peters

Allardyce was doomed -- a victim of his job
So you think the manager of Real Madrid has the worst job in football? Or the England manager? Rubbish to both. The worst job in football is to be found, without a doubt, at Newcastle United.

When Magpies owner Mike Ashley names the successor to Sam Allardyce, the unfortunate individual will become the 11th boss in 11-years at St. James’ Park. It’s a roll-of-honor which, since the departure of Kevin Keegan in January, 1997, includes Terry McDermott, Kenny Dalglish, Ruud Gullit, Steve Clarke, Sir Bobby Robson, John Carver, Graeme Souness, Glenn Roeder, Nigel Pearson (twice), and the aforementioned Allardyce. Over the same, inglorious span, Newcastle won exactly nothing.

But first, to the Madrid argument. In the same 11-years, the Meringues have had 12 managers – including two stints by Fabio Capello. They have won three La Liga titles, two Copa del Rey trophies, two Champions’ Leagues, and two Intercontinental Cups. Now, Madrid and Newcastle are hardly in the same playing field. The two clubs are simply not comparable. But try telling that to a Geordie.

The Toon job is the worse of the two because, simply, the expectations on him are absolutely ridiculous. The Newcastle manager is expected deliver Champions’ League football and Premier League contention. Nothing short of success in one or the other results in his dismissal. It’s absurd. But it gets worse.

Newcastle manage to spend with the richest of them. And rightfully so. As far as support is concerned, they are a big club. They have legions of rabid, dedicated fans and have no difficulty shelling-out for the likes of Alan Shearer, Michael Owen, and Obafemi Martins. Newcastle are not financially challenged. They’re brain-challenged.

Each time a new Toon boss is hired, he is immediately granted an enormous transfer kitty and a mandate to turn the club into a contender – immediately. He is given no time to mold a team and craft a scouting system to uncover suitable players and prospects. Rather, he is instructed to buy big and buy now. It’s a nonsensical business practice. And it is equally illogical in footballing terms.

Newcastle’s constant state of defensive deficiency is point-in-case. If you’re hired at St. James’ and afforded the accompanying millions, the first thing you’ll do is go out and sign a striker. It’s the glamour position of football. And it’s what the owner and fans are craving. Then you’ll by one or two flashy midfielders. At no point in your shopping will you build a defense. Because that’s exactly what you’d need to do. Build it. Defensive partnerships are not like attacking tandems. They are hard to come by and require players to develop an excellent chemistry over time. Look at Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic, for example. The two have played together for two, full seasons; yet they have really only enjoyed success for half of that amount of time. It took nearly a year to forge the partnership. And that’s exactly the sort of patience which is absent at Newcastle. And it’s a large part of the reason why they’ll never contend for a European place.

Witness the proof. Harry Redknapp is the bookies' favorite to replace Allardyce. And how, exactly, is Ashley luring him to Tyneside? By offering an immediate 20M-pound war chest for the winter transfer period. It's ludicrous. But, thankfully, it doesn't appear that Harry will take the bait. After all, he's got a good thing going at Portsmouth – a shot at European football. And it's far, far warmer on the south coast.

Which transitions nicely into Madrid's final advantage. Where would a prospective manager rather spend the autumn and winter months? In the mild, comfortable Spanish capital or the near tundra of northern England? It's not a contest. And given that the life spans of managers at both clubs is essentially the same, it's a safe bet that anyone in their right mind would rather stay warm and win trophies before the inevitable sack. After all, the manager of Newcastle United has the worst job in football.

Shearer for the job
Firstly, the very fact that Alan Shearer was a frontrunner for the Newcastle job before he ruled himself out is nothing short of farcical. Here's a man who, granted, was a world-class footballer for the better part of a decade. Still, he hasn't so much has sat respectfully in the owner's box since retiring from the professional game – much less manage a big-money outfit such as Newcastle.

That said, here's hoping that Shearer changes his mind and accepts the job. And, unlike much of what goes on at St. James' Park, there is some logic in the notion, however skewed.

The reasoning is quite simple – so even Mike Ashley should be able to understand. Hiring Shearer would provide the thing that Newcastle have lacked for over ten years – stability. And whatever his coaching abilities may or may not be, he would be sure to remain in charge for at least three or four seasons. You can always hire good coaches with whom to surround yourself. So the argument that Shearer's managerial weaknesses would hamper the club just doesn't hold water. His continued presence in the locker-room and on the training ground would far outweigh any tactical deficiencies or naiveties. After all, which Newcastle owner would sack Alan Shearer without fearing for his own safety? It simply wouldn't happen. For at least a few seasons, the man would be as safe in his job as Sir Alex Ferguson. And that, more than anything else, is what Newcastle desperately need.